Ep2 - Your Kid's a Sore Loser

Topics covered:

• What makes a sore loser? The difference between healthy competitive drive and unhealthy responses that get in the way of play
• What's happening in a kid's brain during a tough loss or bad play — and why it's not the moment to teach life lessons
• The "wait out the storm" approach — how to offer physical comfort without coddling, and why timing matters
• Age-appropriate strategies — what support looks like for a 5-year-old vs. a 10-year-old vs. a teenager
• What NOT to say after a loss ("You're fine," "You'll get them next time") and what to do instead
• The role of proactive preparation — setting expectations with your team before the game and using cues or signals in the moment
• Practicing losing — Betsy's approach of intentionally beating kids at games in therapy sessions to build the skill of handling disappointment
• Parental accommodation — how yelling at refs or emailing coaches can backfire, and how to support kids without taking over
• Family core values as an anchor — how defining and revisiting them creates a north star for kids in competitive moments
• Coach behavior on the sidelines and its outsized impact on kids' emotional regulation

Key takeaways:

• Losing is a skill. It has to be practiced.
• You are the co-regulator — your calm is contagious (and so is your dysregulation).
• Kids aren't hearing your words in the heat of the moment, but they are watching you.
• Small wins count. Progress isn't all-or-nothing.